Where to start
One question first
Most of what we buy for our intimate lives, we buy on someone else’s say-so. This guide starts somewhere quieter.
Before a single product, ask what you actually know about yourself. Not what you’re supposed to like. What you’ve noticed. Four questions help:
- Your body. What has felt good before, and what hasn’t? Sensitivity matters more than any spec sheet.
- Your practice. Alone, together, or both? Quiet evenings, or something you plan for?
- The features that matter to you. Quiet, waterproof, easy to hold, easy to put away. Ignore the rest.
- What’s changing. A new relationship, a long one finding its way back, or a curiosity you haven’t said out loud yet.
Then find the page that sounds like you. Each one names one piece to start with and one to keep in mind. Nothing more.
Begin with something you can learn from
Solo time is where you find out what you actually like, so the first piece should be easy to hold, easy to control and quiet enough that you never feel watched.
Dame Com 2.0 Wand Massager
A curved, easy-hold wand. Five intensities and five patterns, waterproof, with a travel lock so it stays off in a bag. The second generation is quieter and stronger than the first.
See the Com 2.0 →
Je Joue Classic Bullet
Small, rechargeable and very quiet, with a low, rumbling motor rather than a buzz. Five speeds, seven patterns, waterproof, with a finger sleeve for hands-free use.
See the Classic Bullet →Keep reading: Choosing pleasure toys that actually fit your body and practice.
Begin with touch, not a device
When a relationship is finding its way back, the first step is usually slower than people expect. Start with something you do for each other, then add something you share.
Massage Indulgence Kit
Five travel-size massage oils in one zippered case. Five rather than one means you find a scent you both like, together, instead of guessing. It belongs at the start of an evening.
See the kit →
Dame Eva Wearable Vibe
Hands-free and designed for partnered use: it stays in place, so neither of you is managing it mid-way. Three intensities, waterproof, with an inductive charging case.
See the Eva →Keep reading: What emotional intimacy actually means, and why it comes first.
Begin with one soft tool and one clear word
The first version of power exchange is smaller than people imagine: one partner leads, the other chooses to follow, and both agreed out loud. One gentle tool gives that agreement a shape.
Silky Tie-ups, Black Satin
Two 48″ satin sashes. Use one as a blindfold, or loop them loosely at the wrists. The looped end slips off easily, so letting go is as simple as holding on.
See the tie-ups →
Loveblind Plush Blindfold
An adjustable blindfold with a no-peek nose bridge and soft microfibre edges. Removing sight is often the gentlest first step: everything else gets louder.
See the blindfold →Three agreements, before anything
- One word that means stop, no questions. Say it out loud once, together.
- Nothing that restricts circulation, and a quick release always within reach.
- Short the first time. Ten good minutes beat forty.
Keep reading: Playful control, built on trust.
Begin where most guides end
After intensity comes vulnerability. Aftercare is the path back to centre: water, warmth, touch, a few words. It is often the most intimate part of the evening, and it deserves something of its own.
Massage Oil Candle, Melt Together
A plant-based candle that melts into a warm, moisturizing oil, poured from its own spout. Green tea, fig and Virginia cedar. Light it before, use it after.
See the candle →Dame Massage Oil, 2 oz
The same ritual at a lower first step: a small bottle to keep by the bed.
See the oil →Keep reading: Aftercare: the work. It covers what to say when you’re not sure what someone needs.
Two things worth having, every time
Whatever you choose, these two make it kinder to the body and longer-lived. They’re the least glamorous pieces in the shop, and the ones people reach for most.
Sliquid Sea Lubricant
Water-based, so it’s safe with silicone toys. Glycerin-free, paraben-free, unscented and unflavoured, pH-balanced and vegan, with seaweed extracts.
See Sliquid Sea →
Le Wand Toy Cleaner
An organic, skin-friendly cleaner made for intimate toys. A quick spray and rinse after each use keeps what you’ve chosen safe for years, not weeks.
See the cleaner →A note on materials: we favour medical-grade silicone, borosilicate glass and polished steel. They’re non-porous, phthalate-free and easy to clean. Silicone lubricant can wear down silicone toys over time, which is why we recommend a water-based one first.
Nothing on the box. Nothing on the statement.
$15 off your first order of $100 or more.
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